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December 2009

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what is your first memory of self-conciousness?

I believe there is a real joy in being a kid.At some point our priorities change.When your kid your number one priority is having fun. Playing with toys,or imaging you were a squirrel.You stop doing these things at some point no matter how fun they are.Someone is watching.You might not look COOL.All of a sudden looking good in the eyes of society becomes numero uno.It is always on peoples minds. The clothes you wear,the car you drive.Personal Taste.Everyones idea of what is the best.always competing! I cant remember the answer to this question.

when did you first try to make a deal with god?
I was big on imagination as a child. I didnt need fancy toys to have fun. All I needed was to be outside and have other kids. I would pile rocks,and all of sudden I had an oven and I could play house.One day me and some other faceless girl decided we would pretend to be sailor scouts.As in Sailor Moon the japanese cartoon. I didnt give two shits about Tuxedo Mask,but you are friggin right I wanted super powers.I wanted to help people.I was sure if God wanted me to help people out so bad,he would leave that littel stick thing they hold when they transform into superhumans.Thats how i knew he was real,and had a plan for me. It never came to me that maybe being a sailor scout was not in the plan. I told him to make it snow when i was in class,and then i would know he heard me and to look behind a particular tree. Yes..it got that elaborate.The sky was clear,although yes it was winter.As i sat in class,sure enough floppy big flakes started to fall and I was so happy.I was stoked.I mean after all I was gonna be a Sailor Scout,and God was real. It never occured to me if I was destined to be a Sailor Scout I would have a two inch waist.But alas,was a surprised when no sailor swords or what have you were found.and thats what really set me off...okay buddy.I see how this is going to be.