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December 2009

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Mar. 30th, 2009

an oldie

i like this poem just because i like the picture i drew around it mostly,its kind of sing song-y.Im not sure if it translates if you dont know the song though!.its actually quite chipper,maybe i will sing it for you one day...





Yes im high
Its just 11am
but I wake up
with dreams in my head

i dont want to feel

better or worse
but what i would
                   like
                    to
                   feel
                    is
                   nothing

If we could stop it all,just think of all the sleep we'd save
if there was more to the clock
to which we slave
I can be better
I can be brave
but i just need this to help me face the day.

Mar. 26th, 2009

..........

i just havent been writing as much,let alone poetry worth sharing. i have been creative mostly making physical things rather than writing.I basically just dont have the time to get high and lock myself in my room long enough to just let things flow out of me anymore.Living with my parents also effects this.Also being happy and in love cant be great for my particular writing style.

Mar. 6th, 2009

(no subject)

Of all the social formalities I choose not to be a part of
The inevitable goods and fines of the day
I genuinely wonder how you are
I know your well and I hate it
When I see you on the street I'm always glad
But I go home and I slam my fist into the bed damning you
Ive never been so happy with so little from a man.
Ive never cried so much over nothing before.

Dec. 31st, 2008

16 (a tribute)

This poem is inspired by Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald,it broke my heart.

A red headed girl from tennesse
She held her hands on the train
As the car filled inside - I sat beside
And she asked me my name
Her brother Fred was buried with his brothers
She was coming from knoxville
but the war deparment had made a mistake
The grave number was wrong
but her trip was so long!
so she ran past the graves
but they all looked the same
little grey hills in the grass
She'd been looking since two
didnt know what to do
so she just gave it to the sgt. micheal caves

15

I've got a couple sorrows to drown
I cant break down and let it all out
I'm afraid i'd never be able to stop
Take that look from your eyes
If its only for me - Pass the flame
I'm running for you or from you
Alice asked me when I'd feel
like showing up to life again
but its so much more fun to deal this way!
You've got to get up every morning
I loved to do that little song and dance for you
So I'm giving my pity a rest,I'm taking a chance for you
I want to be like grandaddy so strong,like my mom
who said if she thought it'd do a grain of good she'd pray for me
but never did.

14

if my body permitted
id gather everything created
by more than just coincedence
up in my arms
an escape,a moment,a break from the rat race
I'd provide security
never known to some
I'd fill them over the brim
with love

13

I have to stay
I have to go
Its never my choice
But its typical
Curse location

I love you less
I love you more
Its never the same
As the way your feeling

Its like I'm always in vegas
hoping the lines match up
I never win
I just pull the handle again

I think of you
then the potential next you
but the one i want is the boy from before you

When i lost him
i swore i lost myself
my whole point of view
was just so skewd

I'm back where i started
familiar ground
i said id never come back
when i skipped town
I'll stay busy - wait for a convenient time
to give up these old habits of mine

12

This sharp pain is solitary
Not that you care or comprehend
Mine own single struggle
Your much to hard to lose sleep
over little old me
Whats one broken heart in a sea of sex?
If its only I who bother
Can it be called making love
If one moves the other?

Jun. 14th, 2008

11

oh god
you make me feel just like a puppet on a string
indulge a few more moments in me
im dying to tell you everything
im waiting and hoping to open up to you
i want you to recognize
i want you to see me as true
but you cant see me,
i cant get past you
your just so important
your entertaining your self with my heart

May. 27th, 2008

10 (a future song)

 would it be okay if i crashed here tonight?
i wanted to believe him
somehow it just felt
 right
somehow justified
oh id lose my mind

i wanted him to see
all the things 
he once saw in me
i collided with his energy
he made me feel younger
then id like to be

he gave me something to aspire to
but never something to hold onto
and thats how i lost my mind
And now im wise for my time
they say im jaded,eyes look faded
I can still be innocent
I swear im not obsessed 
or absessed anymore

Ive changed all my reasons 
and in turn my feelings
or so i told others
i wanted to believe myself
the mistake was believing him instead

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